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I Hate Chase Every single

I Hate Chase

Every single day Chase sends me credit card applications. This has been going on for years. Today I got fed up and decided I’ll stuff their pre-paid envelope with junk and send it back to them. That’ll teach them to spam. I also went to the website to contact them about how annoying they are:

I’d appreciate it if you removed me from your mailing list. I literally get a Chase credit card application every day of the week and my patience is growing thin.

In the days of yesteryear I might have wanted a Chase credit card. But now, seeing how much of a pain in the ass your company is, I don’t think I could bring myself to apply for one. Carrying a Chase credit card in my wallet would be the equivalent of funding terrorism. The kind of domestic terrorism that kills trees, burdens mailmen, and gives me papercuts as I angrily tear the envelope to pieces with my savage hands.

I would appreciate it if you removed my name and address from any and all Chase correspondence lists. If Chase is responsible for notifying me about being a benefactor of a dead rich uncle or that I won the lottery, please feel free to email or call me. Otherwise, please try your best and rid my name from your company. (Psst, you can ask Enron and Arthur Andersen for help in the document disposal department).

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to email me, BUT PLEASE, I implore you, do not send me any mail!

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