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Unbalanced Honesty

I think many would agree that the perfect relationships are where both people feel and are completely honest with each other. This takes two parts. First, each person must feel like they can tell the other the truth about something, no matter how much it might hurt or offend. This requires no hesitation on their part and the absolute belief and assurance that the other person will be able to take receive it well. The second half is, naturally, the ability of each person to swallow their pride and accept if not welcome comments or criticisms.

More often than not, what you get is unbalanced honesty in relationships. That is, One person will be very blunt (if not rude) to the other person. This is great, as it fulfills Part 1. The recipient, generally will, through the years, actually learn to be a great listener, nodding their head as if to say “You’re right, that makes sense, I understand”. This fulfills Part 2. After all, when you are receiving a barrage of comments, it makes little sense to retaliate. Why start a riot? It is natural to assume that since Person A is so willing to dish it out, they are probably great at accepting it too. Nay. I am not entirely convinced of this. And usually neither is Person B. Instead, Person B plays their role in fulfilling Part 2 while Person A continues to dish it out (Part 1).

How do you guys feel about this? I know that it’s entirely possible to have a perfect relationship as I have it with a few of my closest friends. But I have seen one-sided relationships too and they seem like they are entirely free and honest but in fact, everyone is lying to themselves and each other.

2 Responses to “Unbalanced Honesty”

  • I feel this is very true. I’ve had many superficial relationships in the past where it was just lie after lie (generally fake giddiness). I think it’s artificial, and although I strive for perfection since I have OCD, I have changed my definition of perfection to be that of being honest to each other, instead of happy all the time. My best relationships are those where I can be brutally honest. You trust the other person enough that their feelings won’t be hurt, and that way you can trust them more to give you feedback as well. Everybody should strive to be their best, and to have the other party improve you is something you should look up to, not condemn.

  • xtknight – You make some very good points yourself. I hope it all works out.

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