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Crazy Dude at Work

Check out this wonderful exchange I had with a guy from work. I edited some stuff out, notably names, to protect the, uh insane? I’ll paste the conversation backwards so it’s easier to read (just go top down).

From: Me
Subject: FREE: Ever-Together Tri-Fold Wallet

For the minimalists out there, I have two Tri-Fold Tyvek Wallets. They are both brand new and unused but only the flag one is still in the packaging. They are both free but please only take one if you plan on using it.

[Wallet URL 1]
[Wallet URL 2]

Google Results: URL

Peace!
David

I got some responses immediately but most people’s faces dropped when they actually saw what a Tyvek wallet is. Then I got this enthusiastic response.

From: Crazy Dude
To: Me
Subject: RE: FREE: Ever-Together Tri-Fold Wallet

Hey,

Did you design these…?

Crazy Dude | Billing Specialist

I tell him no and we continue.

From: Me
To: Crazy Guy
Subject: RE: FREE: Ever-Together Tri-Fold Wallet

I did not.

The next one is a classic.

From: Crazy Guy
To: Me
Subject: RE: FREE: Ever-Together Tri-Fold Wallet

I collect wallets…I have seen every different kind of wallet…I recently have been into the duck-tape wallet…I would love one

Crazy Guy | Billing Specialist

From: Me
To: Crazy Guy
Subject: RE: FREE: Ever-Together Tri-Fold Wallet

Which one do you want?

So rather than telling me something simple like “The American flag one,” he makes me compare the URLs.

From: Crazy Guy
To: Me
Subject: RE: FREE: Ever-Together Tri-Fold Wallet

This one

[Wallet URL 1]

Thanks,
Crazy Guy | Billing Specialist

From: Me
To: Crazy Guy
Subject: RE: FREE: Ever-Together Tri-Fold Wallet

Ok it’s yours.

At this point I should explain that I feel if I give you something for free, it should take absolutely no effort on my part. I shouldn’t need to deliver it to you. I shouldn’t need to even tell you where my office is. We have a pretty fancy office mapping program and you can literally click on my name and have it zoom into an architecturally accurate and to-scale diagram of my cubicle and the surrounding offices. This is not rocket science.

From: Crazy Guy
To: Me
Subject: RE: FREE: Ever-Together Tri-Fold Wallet

Will you send It inter-office mail…?

You da man,

Crazy Guy | Billing Specialist

Uh WTF? Interoffice email is this yellow envelope with two columns in front. You put in some document that is not time sensitive and bound for another building (we have three now, all on the same street), write the recipient’s name and office in on the front and secure it with the red string. Then, when someone is going to the other building, they deliver it. Crazy Guy works in my office, upstairs. It’s literally a 2 minute walk to my office. Maybe three if you’re slow. He wants someone else to hand deliver this to him. I am not happy.

From: Me
To: Crazy Guy
Subject: RE: FREE: Ever-Together Tri-Fold Wallet

This is becoming very complicated.

Now you are going to start to see how crazy he is. I am not sure if English is not his primary language but look at the way he types. I mean, I don’t care obviously if he’s a crazy ESL student. I am just pointing it out as a possible explanation on his strange writing style.

From: Crazy Guy
To: Me
Subject: RE: FREE: Ever-Together Tri-Fold Wallet

OK!!! Then don’t give it to me…?

Crazy Guy | Billing Specialist

From: Me
To: Crazy Guy
Subject: RE: FREE: Ever-Together Tri-Fold Wallet

As you wish.

He can’t leave things be. I didn’t give him the wallet as he requested and now he’s angry. He tells me to “have a nice life.”

From: Crazy Guy
To: Me
Subject: RE: FREE: Ever-Together Tri-Fold Wallet

WOW!! How else did you plan on getting me the wallet…..sometimes I wonder about the people they hire around here…have a nice life

Crazy Guy | Billing Specialist

I’m a little perplexed so I reply trying to explain the ridiculousness of using interoffice email to deliver a wallet to him. I also mention his manager, who I actually know.

From: Me
Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2008 11:46 AM
To: Crazy Guy
Subject: RE: FREE: Ever-Together Tri-Fold Wallet

Crazy Dude,

Are you being serious? I post two wallets which retail for $15 a piece for free on the bulletin thinking someone might want one. It looks like you did since you are a self-proclaimed wallet collector. Most people that get free things try to make it easy on the giver. You could spend 5 minutes to walk to my cube and take it but instead you need me to use “interoffice mail.” Then you start giving me attitude?

You’re absolutely right. I should talk to [Dude’s Manager] about the people she hires.

Now he goes completely apeshit. Notice how he says “peace” in this following email. In almost every single argument or scuffle I’ve had at work or even outside of work, people try to mock me by saying “peace” in one of their responses. It’s because I generally sign my emails with that exit. I think they think they are being funny or ironic. But really, it’s neither.

From: Crazy Guy
To: Me
Subject: RE: FREE: Ever-Together Tri-Fold Wallet

You know what you are have issues bro…I was not sure where your cube was……and all you had to tell me was where to pick it up!! Instead you give the ( this is complicated) WOW!! Don’t post things on the bulletin if you are looking for someone to give you PROPS for GIVING!! By all means talk to Mary..see if I give a &*^%

Peace,

Crazy Guy | Billing Specialist

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